On 3/5/2018, it was our first time heading down to the SWAMi (Sunshine Welfare Action Mission) Home. When we arrived on the footstep of the home, we saw an elderly woman on a wheelchair eating alone. I was curious as to why she wasn't with the other elderly but I didn't dare to go up to ask her about it. My initial fear was that she would start to scream and shout at me, telling me to mind my own business, like in the shows. Thinking back I realized that that was a very irrational fear and one of my regrets was not going up to try and talk to her because I feel that everyone wants to feel like they matter to someone, wants the feeling that someone cares for them. If I could had made a short conversation with her or even if the fear I had, would come true, nothing else would have mattered because I would have tried, and I would not have regretted doing so.
Moving on to our very first interaction with the elderly, I was posted to the Dementia section, where the elderly come at 10am in the morning and go back to their homes at 4~5pm, which is a little different from the Nursing elderly. When we got to the room, they were having a music session, some of them seemed to be enjoying the session and some looked neutral, but we realized that we did not know what to do. We ended up standing at the sides and behind the elderly, doing nothing and staring blankly at the music instructors, nurses and elderly. But we got called out by the instructor and was taught how to interact with the elderly. All of us had to step out of our comfort zone and try to make the situation less awkward. I felt that the there was a bridge that I couldn't cross, during the singing it was fine because at least I was doing something. However, there were these short pauses where I was just staring awkwardly with the elderly in front of me, I was mind blocked and I couldn't think of ways to start a conversation with the elderly. AGAIN, I feel regret not being able to step up and do it, it was a moment that could have probably made, both mine and his day, instead it was a wasted chance. When I saw Mr Ng, just going all out there, singing his heart out and successfully interacted with the elderly using the tips given, I wondered whether I could ever do that, I doubted myself and stood still in my comfort zone.
After that, we had to move off to interact with our elderly, Mr Lim. He is such an angel, with the fact that he could speak both English and Chinese languages meant that we had very little language barrier. Also, he was very supportive of the ideas we suggested, like asking him to bring his own photos to share with us since we couldn't take pictures and whenever we asked him more sensitive questions, he would readily reply and it seemed like he was so genuine to share it with us even though we barely met for 1 hr. He told us about his family affairs, his daughter, his wife and he said that going to the elderly home is good for him. Also, he is very interested in sports, badminton and swimming are on his top list.
When everything was over and they needed to go back, I felt satisfied with a tinge of regret. Satisfied because we had managed to communicate so well with our elderly and plus the fact that he was so responsive to us is a huge bonus. Regret because I felt like there were wasted opportunities that could have turned into something much more meaningful, for both the elderly we had met and myself. I felt so enlightened, seeing the elderly and learning the way they led their lives was so different from ours. Adding on with sympathy because some of them seem to be unhappy to be in the elderly home, not enjoying themselves. Putting myself in their shoes, I honestly would not feel happy either. Coming for this service learning has definitely made me cherish the everyone around me more, especially my grandmother and parents.
For the next trip to the SWAMi Home, I promise myself to prompt them for more specific questions, to help them remember specific details too, fighting their dementia. We should also talk more about happy thoughts that they have, let them reminisce and be more optimistic. Some of the elderly require more patience and care, meaning that we have to be more understanding towards them too, by showing enthusiasm and interest when we are talking to them. Make them feel that someone cares for them and would be a listening ear to them. Furthermore, I know that this is a project for a module for us, however, I feel that we should not focus too much on the work that we need to do, but instead make our approaches genuine and not because I want to get something from the elderly to complete my project.
We should continue to take the initiative to go up and start conversations with them, make them feel more comfortable by also sharing our own lives, it is a 2-way thing. Discover things that make them happy and keep bringing them up for them to have more happy thoughts. Finally, maybe also integrating IT in their lives to help fight against their dementia.
